Opposite-Sex Friendship. RCCG Sunday School Manual.

Memory Verse: “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfil its lusts”-Romans 13:14.

Bible Passage: Romans 12:9-10; Proverbs 6:27-28.

Introduction

Christian youths come together for diverse reasons such as academic activities, business/social engagements, spiritual exercises and so on. In the process, making friends with the opposite sex may be inevitable. This is not a sin as long as the motive is pure(friendship with no sting attached). However, it becomes an issue of concern when we consider the common mistakes foreseeable. We shall attempt to unravel some of the mistakes as well as discuss some of the tips for a pure friendship with the opposite sex.

OUTLINES

COMMON MISTAKES
TIPS FOR PURE FRIENDSHIP

COMMON MISTAKES

Here are some of the common mistakes youth makes as they relate with their friends of the opposite sex.

Ignoring proper boundaries.
Misrepresenting the attention of the opposite sex.
Tolerating too much in the friendship and hanging on too long.
Giving a blind eye to dangerous signals such as emotional attraction, attempting to touch a sensitive part of the body, holding hands, cuddling, pecking and so on (Prov. 6:27-28; Romans 12:1).
Getting involved much too soon and going too far such as involvement in family functions, financial/business commitment and so on.
Ignorantly sending potential spouses away.

TIPS FOR TRUE FRIENDSHIP

Define the friendship and set clear boundaries.
Never assume anything but ask questions when in doubt.
Do not allow anyone form a canopy over your life under the pretence of friendship.
Do not take advantage of your closeness to your friend to seduce him/her into any dirty game or romantic pleasure (1 Thess. 5:22; Col. 2:21).
Differentiate friendship from intimacy.
Do not always seek to be in lonely places or dark corners with a friend of the opposite sex.
Try and include others in activities instead of isolating yourself with one person.
Make a priority of same-sex friendship. Your bosom friendship should not be of the opposite sex. You can have them as close friends but not as closest friends.
Seek the opportunity to serve and not be served or entertained. Real friendship is not on what you can get from others but on how to serve others. In service, we find true friendship (Romans 12:10-11).
If you are in a relationship leading to marriage, make sure your partner meets with your opposite-gender friend.
Guard your heart. Don does not allow premature romance to ruin your heart, which is the centre of your destiny (Prov. 4:23).
Keep everything strictly platonic(surface and plain friendship).

CONCLUSION: Prioritise same-sex friendship. If you must have a friend of the opposite gender, know your boundaries and make sure you talk about them.

QUESTIONS

What are the common mistakes some youths make with friends of the opposite sex?
Mention at least seven (7) tips for pure friendship among youths of the opposite sex.

ASSIGNMENT

Check through your relationship with friends of the opposite sex and apply the tips you have learned to keep the friendship pure (No mark).

Action Point
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