Dating: The Christian Perspective. RCCG Sunday School Manual.

Memory Verse: “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge”- Hebrews 13:4.

Bible Verse: Genesis 29: 16-20.

INTRODUCTION

The world today puts so much pressure on youths when it comes to what they prefer to call dating. The world tells us to date now and date often and date a lot of different people so we do not “miss out” on any of life’s experiences. God has a different plan for his sons and daughters. He has a higher standard for us too, one which we, as Christ followers, should strive to reach even if it goes against the world’s standards and expectations. God wants to lead us into proper courtship.

OUTLINES

1. Description and implication

2. Fulfilment in Christ First

Description and Implication

Dating, as it is conceived, is a form of friendship or relationship typically between two individuals of the opposite sex with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. Literally, it means going out with someone of the opposite sex.

Dating and courtship are methods of beginning a relationship with the opposite sec (Gen. 29:18-20). Actually, courtship is the more appropriate term, however, as prescribed by the Church and supervised by marriage counsellors. It should be noted that the result of this may lead to friendship, courtship, marriage or no relationship.

While there are non-Christians who go into relationships with the intention of having a series of intimate sexual relationships, for the Christian, this is not acceptable and should never be the reason (Romans 12:2; 1 Cor. 6: 18-20). While we may not be able to completely close our eyes to this societal trend, Christian Youths should see ‘dating’ as a little more than friendship and maintain the friendship aspect of their dating until both people are ready to commit to each other as potential marriage partners.

Ideally, this period should be a time when a Christian finds out if his or her potential partner is also a genuine believer in Christ before making a commitment of a relationship (courtship) that could lead to marriage. During this time, there should be no sexual relation and closeness that could trigger emotions, as this is something that should wait until marriage (Hebrews 13:4). There must be boundaries in place and be committed to not crossing them. This type of friendship that may lead to courtship and eventually marriage, should not be between a believer and a non-believer (2 Cor. 6:14-15).

FULFILMENT IN CHRIST FIRST

In order to be in a God-centred romantic relationship in some years to come, you must first find your personal fulfilment in Christ. The stronger your faith in God, the better you will be able to love another person.

God is a jealous God (Ex. 34:14) and until you have a relationship with God that is above everything and anyone else, you will likely have someone who is more important to you than God. It is vital that it is first in your life (Matt. 22:37-39). He needs to be the one you run to when you are lonely, bored, sad etc. No friend, (especially the opposite sex) can always be there for you like God can. People are never meant to take God’s place in our lives and hearts. God has to be everything to you prior to getting into a God-honouring relationship (with marriage in view). As you wait patiently on God and diligently doing his will, He will graciously give you the best match as a spouse.

CONCLUSION: It is important that a believer finds fulfilment in Christ before entrusting his/her life into the hand of the opposite sex.