Before You Say I Do. YAYA Sunday School 18/04/2021

Before You Say I Do

OPENING PRAYER: Father, please guide me through the path to marriage.
BIBLE PASSAGE: Genesis 29:11-20
11 And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.
12 And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s brother and that he was Rebekah’s son: and she ran and told her father.

13 And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister’s son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things.
14 And Laban said to him, Surely thou art my bone and my flesh. And he abode with him the space of a month.
15 And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what shall thy wages be?
16 And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.
18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
19 And Laban said It is better that I give her to thee than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.
20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
MEMORY VERSE: “Test all things; hold fast what is good.” 1Thessalonians.5:21 (NKJV).
LESSON INTRODUCTION: The foundation of a godly marriage must be properly laid on sound moral and biblical principles. Before the exchange of vows, where the Christian brother and sister will say ‘I do’, they should have passed through the phase of courtship and ensure that all things are done decently and in order (1 Cor.14:40; Amos 3:3) also watch out for some ‘red flags’ before saying ‘I do’.
TEXT REVIEW: Genesis 29:11-20. In this passage:

A. Jacob met Rachael, Laban’s daughter and did the following:

i. He greeted Rachael with a kiss (according to there custom) -v11.
ii. He introduced himself to Rachel.-v12.
B. Laban heard about the arrival of Jacob and:
i. Laban embraced and kissed Jacob and…. vs13
ii. ……………………………………………………… v14.
iii. …………………………………………………….. v15

A. Laban had two daughters and……….. v16-17.
B. Jacob waited for …………………………… v18
C. Jacob got ……………………………………… v19
D. Jacob served Laban and courted Rachel faithfully because………………………………. v20.


(2 Cor

2:11; 1 Thess.5:22).
A. Discussion should cover their dreams, visions, the purpose for living, plans, fears, health status/history and past relationships (if any).
B. Intending couples should endeavour to discover each other’s strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, differences (upbringing/orientation, cultural background), etc. through observation and by asking questions.
C. Intending couples should be open and sincere with each other in all aspects of their dealings (financial status, source of income, etc.).
D. There should be no pretence or deception (stage management of character).
E. It is also expedient that Intending couples undertake marriage counselling lessons together during courtship (Proverbs 11:14).

CLASS ACTIVITY 1: Discuss the dangers of ‘dating’ and the reasons Christian youths should avoid it.



The teacher should explain to the class that ‘red flags’ are danger signs that connote ‘no go areas. He should then guide the discussion as follows:

A. There are a number of “red flags” to watch out for before entering a permanent marriage relationship.
B. Unfortunately, these indicators may not be visible until after the wedding takes place since some Christians are skilled at hiding their true natures or changing with circumstances.

C. However, a shortlist of things to look out for includes irrational jealousy, deception, the strive to be in control (dominate the other partner), physical or emotional abuse/violence, a quick (hot) temper, cruelty towards adherence to unscriptural traditional values, attempts to isolate the other person from his or her friends and family, a show of dislike for would-be in-laws, defiance to spiritual matters, drug or alcohol abuse, smoking, disrespect for boundaries, privacy/personal space or low moral values.

D. If you see any of these warning signs or other strange behaviours in the person you are entering a marriage relationship with, please pray and seek
advice from your spiritual leader or marriage counsellor before you say ‘I DO’. (Mk.14:38; Prov.15:22; 19:20).
E. Marriage should not be viewed as a ‘do or die’ affair. You have a destiny to fulfil (Jer 29:11). You may consider the saying that a broken courtship is better than a broken marriage’ and make a wise/informed decision. (Eccl.10:10; 1 Cor.7:15b).


CLASS ACTIVITY 2: Share with the class some strange behaviours you noticed in your intending partner (if you are engaged) and what you are doing or have done about it.

SUMMARY: It is important that Christian youths observe courtship (not dating) in a godly manner and watch out for ‘red flags’ before taking the vow of ‘I do’.

CONCLUSION: Watch and pray before you say “I DO”

EVALUATION: The teacher should ask the students to mention some of the red flags to watch out for before you say ‘I do’.

CLOSING PRAYER: Father, please help me through my courtship period and make my marriage heaven on earth.

ASSIGNMENT: Mention five of the issues that Christian youth should not compromise or overlook while preparing for marriage

Action Point
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I know you might agree with some of the points that I have raised in this article. You might not agree with some of the issues raised. Let me know your views about the topic discussed. We will appreciate it if you can drop your comment. Thanks in anticipation.


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