Memory Verse: “Neither give place to the devil”- Eph 4:27.

Bible Passage: 1 Cor. 7:1-40. 

Introduction

God is the author of marriage (Gen.2:24). He designed it to bring glory to His name and also for man to enjoy. However, many marriages today are not conforming to the will of God. Rather than bringing pleasure, many marriages are full of pains and tales of woes because of human choices made contrary to biblical blueprints. In this lesson, we shall unravel some of the gaps prevalent in some marriages leading to unfaithfulness among couples. 

 

OUTLINES

1. FORMS OF MARITAL GAPS 
2. SOME PRACTICAL WAYS TO BRIDGE THE GAPS

A. Location Gaps: Long period of absence, whether for work or serving in the military, greatly reduces the opportunities couples have to properly bond. Examples are the Photiphars (Genesis 39: 5-7) and the Uriahs (2 Samuel 11). Long-distance marriage is not ideal.

B. Emotional Gaps: The feeling of insecurity and loneliness, whether emotional, physical or sexual, can create a gap between couples. The search for excitement to escape boredom and experiment with new things like adopting new hobbies or hanging out with new friends can affect relationships between spouses. 

C. Poor boundaries: Poor personal boundaries, or the limits we place on other people as to what we find acceptable or unacceptable, can result in a marital gap. 

D. Revenge: The desire to pay back the wrongdoing of a partner in the “same coin” can result in a marital gap. 

E. Sexual Gaps: Many partners in a marital relationship are not enjoying sex or getting satisfaction sexually. They are only enduring and coping because their spouses are not sensitive to their sexual needs. Regardless of gender, having an uninteresting sex life could put your relationship at risk of infidelity. 

F. Financial Gaps: When the financial orientation of the couple differs and both parties fail to reach a compromise as to how money should be managed, there are bound to be conflicts which may negatively affect our union.

G. Physical/physiological gaps: There are also situations where a couple does not pay attention to each other or does not live like a normal couple, go out together or have a passionate relationship. Eventually, one or both of them look outside their relationship for someone whom they want to be with. (Mal. 2:14-16).

H. Communication Gaps: Communication is one of the most fundamental components of a successful relationship. If you cannot talk to your spouse and listen to what he or she has to say, you will have a hard time making it through the difficult hurdles in your marriage. Not being able to share secrets, stories and feeling with their spouses can lead some people to open up to others emotionally. 

I. Excessive Use of The Internet and Social Media: Connecting with other people and talking or chatting with them for hours at length at home, work or even in some public places at the expense of your spouse can extend the gap in your relationship. 

 

SOME PRACTICAL WAYS TO BRIDGE THE GAPS 

You can take your relationship to the next level by practically taking some steps to bridge the gaps: 

1. Avoid living separately in the name of a job offer or searching for ‘greener pasture”. 
2. Understand your spouse’s love languages i.e ask and do things that make them want to be with you the more e.g holding hands. 
3. Go together on Dates; visit other families, friends and colleagues together. 
4. Commend the good things your spouse does.
5. Condemn what is bad in love (not the person but the act)  and apologise correctly. Give no room to the devil (Eph. 4;27).
6. Handle matters discreetly and immediately. 
7. Celebrate each other, exchange gifts regularly and create a conducive atmosphere for God’s presence in your homes (Ps. 133:1).

 

CONCLUSION

Marriages succeed on intentional effort and purposeful choices made by the partners to make it heaven on earth. 

 

QUESTIONS

1. What are the forms of marital gaps?
2. Mention five (5) practical ways of bridging marital gaps.

 

Action Point
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I know you might agree with some of the points that I have raised in this article. You might not agree with some of the issues raised. Let me know your views about the topic discussed. We will appreciate it if you can drop your comment. Thanks in anticipation.

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