OPENING PRAYER: Father, help all couples to build their family through wisdom from above. Let unrstanding prevail in every marriage.
MEMORY VERSE: “Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established:” – Proverbs 24:3
BIBLE PASSAGE: 1 Corinthians 7:2-5
1Co 7:2 But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband.
1Co 7:3 A man should fulfil his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfil her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other’s needs.
1Co 7:4 A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is.
1Co 7:5 Do not deny yourselves to each other unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend your time in prayer, but then resume normal marital relations. In this way, you will be kept from giving in to Satan’s temptation because of your lack of self-control.
We have learnt that sexual intimacy creates a special bond between a man and his wife with basic facts supported by scriptures and its numerous benefits. It is equally necessary to discuss some of the challenges facing couples in the area of sexual intimacy (SOS.5:1-6). It should be noted that in some homes or families certain problems or conflicts can be traced to an unsatisfactory sexual relationship (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). The good news is that these challenges can be remedied.
TEXT REVIEW: 1 Corinthians 7:2-5.
Fornication is a menace that the devil employs to distract youths from marriage. It is the devil’s ploy to blindfold the youths from getting married.
The Almighty God provides some solutions to marital infidelity or fornication and adultery. This, among others, is marriage. God said, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2.
Identify the other five solutions to marital intimacy challenges as indicated in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5.
LESSON OUTLINE 1: LIKELY CAUSES OF SEXUAL INTIMACY CHALLENGES
While some challenges of sexual intimacy are spiritual, quite a lot of these challenges can be traced to the following:
i. Myths, misconception, wrong cultural orientations or unscriptural spiritual inclinations about sex, e.g. “women should not initiate sex or enjoy it”
ii. Fear of conceiving another baby. Some couples either lack the knowledge of appropriate family planning techniques or have refused to deploy the techniques that can prevent unwanted pregnancy. Hosea 4:6.
iii. Previous experiences of sexual abuse directly or indirectly.
iv. Libido (sex drive) issues or inadequate foreplay (inability to discover and/or explore the erogenous part of the body).
v. Health challenges which may either be physiological or psychological e.g erectile dysfunction, frigidity (cold-heartedness), not-in-the-mood syndrome, complications during childbirth, illness, etc.
vi. Infidelity and lack of trust. Heb.13:4.
vii. Sometimes, sexual appetite decreases in women after menopause whereas there is a minimal decline in the sexual drive of men. Gen. 18:12.
viii. Lack of understanding of love languages and/or things that turn them on or off
ix. Communication issues and busy schedules.
x. Environmental factors – being conscious of the presence of a third party in the surrounding (children, relatives, neighbours, etc), unpleasant noise, etc.
CLASS ACTIVITY 1:
- The class should discuss how each of the ten items listed above should be addressed to overcome sexual intimacy challenges.
- The class should also discuss how the problem of sexual abuse could be prevented among the youth.
LESSON OUTLINE 2: SOME REMEDIES FOR SEXUAL INTIMACY CHALLENGES
i. Prayer: Couples should commit their sex life into God’s hands the same way they do for other aspects of their lives. This is a great antidote to demonic influences. Phil. 4:6-7.
ii. Counselling: It is not a shameful thing to seek medical/psychological help when faced with sexual intimacy challenges. Prov. 11:14; 24:6.
iii. Communications: If you observe that your sex life is on the decline, bring up the topic and talk it out. Amos 3:3.
iv. Time and stress management: Married couples should create time out of their tight schedules to be intimate and cut off stress-inducing factors as much as possible. Eccl. 3:1;8:6.
v. Self-development: Couples should look inward and work on their weakness and the immediate environment that could turn off either of the party. 2 Corinthians 13:5.
CLASS ACTIVITY 2
The class should discuss the role of adequate communication in marriage and sexual intimacy and the role of effective prayers as a tool to prevent the possibility of sexual intimacy challenges in future.
The admonition of Apostle Paul to the couples in 1 Corinthians 7:3 which says “Let the husband render unto the wife due to benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband”, is a very good solution if prayerfully applied can solve many sexual-intimacy challenges.
Avoiding your spouse, especially in the area of sexual intimacy is creating a space that will be occupied by something or someone else.
EVALUATION: What are the challenges and solutions to sexual intimacy challenges?
CLOSING PRAYER: Father, help couples to humbly accept their faults and fathom out their marital intimacy challenges.
ASSIGNMENT: Identify five (5) causes of sexual intimacy challenges and solutions to the challenges.
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I know you might agree with some of the points that I have raised in this article. You might not agree with some of the issues raised. Let me know your views about the topic discussed. We will appreciate it if you can drop your comment. Thanks in anticipation.
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